Looking back, lighting the lighter was probably not a good idea.   But we were only trying to get the little Gerbil out of my hole.   I was rushed to the hospital  by paramedics who were called by a friend of mine who was there with me.   (It brings to mind the phrase “A friend is one who warns you from danger, a true friend is right there beside you through it all, yelling, FUCK YEA, THIS IS AWESOME!!”)   That was my buddy.   (Yes drinking was involved.  However I am just …

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He’s one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?

10. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!”
9. You can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
8. All lunches are free! “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”
7. It will stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
6. You want to see if it’s like the dream.
5. So that with a little help from the funky ‘muzak’ you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.
4. People stop stealing your pens …

A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a
month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the
obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The …