Ten Question?
1. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
3. How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?
4. Â I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?
5. Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it.
6. How can there be self-help “groups”?
7. Why isn’t the num
ber 11 pronounced onety one?
8. Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
9. Can you ever imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
10. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
“If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?”
This is a common misconception. We did not evolve directly from apes, but instead had a common ancestor, and “branched off.”
2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If protestants evolved from catholics, why are there still catholics?
You do realize humans didn’t evolve from monkeys or apes right?
2. Because that’s not what evolution is. Maybe you should read up on it before asking stupid questions.
Humans didnt evolve from apes…we diverged from a common ancestor
This comment will probably be taken down immediately so I hope you have a chance to read it. This is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever stumbled upon. These are not cute or witty. The speed of lightning is the speed of light. Just because it zig-zags this does not slow down the lightning itself, it merely adds to the average speed by increasing the time it takes to reach its destination, so you need to use a slightly more complicated equation to find out its speed. Man didn’t evolve from apes or monkeys, just like as all things on Earth did not evolve from penicillin and yet we share a common, single-celled ancestor. The third question was clearly obtained from a Popsicle stick, the fourth question is mildly racist because it assumes that all Asians use chop sticks (Indians and Russians are technically Asian) and that in Asian countries they eat soup and stained baby food with chop sticks, That’s retarded too. Question 5: People like to experiment to find the truth, they can’t very well count all the stars in the sky but they can test a painted wall. Self help groups: Groups of people wishing to help themselves. Makes sense to me. 11 isn’t onety-one for the same reason twelve isn’t onety-two and for the same reason 8 is not pronounced octo. Evian spelled backwards is naive, CLEVER!!! Evian is also the name of a region of France, so you lose again. As for number 9, I SEE WHAT U DID THAR. OH HO HO. Finally, I don’t even know what kind of maligned thought produced this question, but you should probably have just made this a list of 9. Perhaps you could have just sold your computer and bought a helmet.
wow, I know a few evolutionists that need to evolve a sense of humor.
#2 is incredibly ignorant. To think there are still so many people that have those kinds of misconceptions is astounding.
Oh my… while this post is not the most clever I do love anonymous’s comment! I also think its time to go outside and get some fresh air. It’s clear the author is about the mental age of 14 and for everyone is up in arms about the evolution thing… oh come on guys we can ignore that one now can’t we? I have heard that used as a valid argument in like 4 years! So Just smile and have a great day! ;D
Wow… Anonymous is wrong about so many of the things he said that he just made everyone else look like Einstein. If you’re going to put other people and things down at least seem half way intelligent or you’re just goin to look like a moronic asshole. Decent post. It was kinda funny.
Is it just me or do a lot of people here need to take a BIG step back and realize this is a humor website and this article is meant to be funny?
From the looks of things mentioning anything about evolution these days is about as touchy a subject as abortion. Yikes!
You’d have to grow a third 21st chromosome to find any one of those funny.
Love how guys always focus on the main issues of the list’s escaping the entire other questions to.
James is VERY right. Personally, I find some of these amusing. They are poking fun at ideas that can be taken too literally. These questions are not at all in jest. The humor in them ought to be appreciated though.
Anonymous- Your sense of humor is about as vast as your understanding of science. Lightning does not travel at the speed of light. If your going to apply such reckless literalism to comedy, you should at least get the science right! The light from a lightning strike travels at the speed of light (duh) but the strike itself actually travels approx. 60,000 MPS way slower then the approx. 186,000 MPS that light travels. The reason is that lightning is just the released stored potential electrical energy created by warm and cold air passing each other, thus creating the potential static electricity. The release of this energy travels down the ionized “path of least resistance” and is subject to countless variables like, electrical impedence by the molecules affected, moisture content in the air, impurities is the air, etc etc etc, so the actual speed will vary depending on the variables. But no matter what speed that actually is its waaaayyyy off your speed of light. Here’s a tip- put away your elementry school physics book and actually read something published in the last 2 years! As for your ASSUMPTION that we didn’t evolve from apes or monkeys, well… evolution through natural selection is a tree structure, simpleton, and as such it does allow for the evolution of humans through apes, and that division would have happened through environmental differentiation. Last tip for you- If you lick your fingers after touching that freshly painted wall, you might just kill that last annoying common sense cell you have left in that brain. Talk about a single celled ansestor, sucks to be your kid!!
Wow…. people like you are the reason anonymity sucks. It’s funny. Get over it. I’m pretty sure that none of you would have the guts to attempt to completely tear down someone to their face, and before you make the same accusation against me, I would. Just get over yourselves. You need to get the stick out of your ass and learn to laugh at life a little bit, instead of sitting up on your imaginary pedestal where you pretend to know everything just because you can type something into Google and click on the link to Wikipedia. You guys are probably the same five assholes that go to every site and try to poke a hole in something. Move out of your parents basements and quit being ridiculously annoying. =)
This is a joke, only a joke!!! You people that are defending evolution are stupid. This is a JOKE, get it? JOKE = funny stuff. Get over it!!!
I have been looking looking around for this kind of information. Will you post some more in future? I’ll be grateful if you will.
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