Men…

22 June 2009 12 Comments

We like to barbecue. We will only cook if danger is involved.

His two favorite words… “Blow Job” learn it, live it, love it. Got it?

If you buy a man a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my early films end with a scream and a flush.

When we ask for a threesome with you and your best friend, we are only joking. (Unless the answer is yes.)

Men are very confident people. So confident that when we watch sports on television and actually thinks that if we concentrate, we can help our team. If the team is in trouble, we coach the players from our living room, and if they’re really in trouble, A woman better not be on the phone, just in case our team needs to call us.

Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (i.e. Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Don’t ever ask him what he’s thinking. Trust me. Most times, you don’t want to know.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why we need instant replays in sports. We’ve already forgotten what happened.

He was not looking at that other woman.
(Well, okay… maybe a little.)

He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. (At least that is what you should tell us.)

12 Comments »

Mike said:

Haha really funny! And so true I should send this to my girlfriend

# 23 June 2009 at %I:%M %p

Maria said:

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that I have really liked reading your posts. In any case
I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you post again soon!

# 23 June 2009 at %I:%M %p

jordan said:

This article is terrible. how can you just lump half of the world’s population into some broad generalization? just because YOU don’t remember everything or YOU are confident while watching sports, does not mean every man out there is. People like you are putting men down to be these lumps of space that just like to watch sports, drink beer, and have sex. This kind of mentality about men is perpetuated in so many forms and i think that it’s destroying the name for men because it leads some people to believe that all men are actually like that, but i bet that if you looked hard enough, you’d find that tons of men are nothing like these stereotypes. Please don’t sell men short by writing these kinds of articles, it creates a lot of competition so that some men feel they need to live up to these false illusions of a “man”. It doesn’t make you a man to hide your emotions and play sports, being a man is the ability to take responsibility into your own hands and to be truly honest to yourself and to others. It’s so easy to watch an “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode and believe that all men are like that. Stop trying to be this bullshit mirage of a man and be yourself.

# 30 June 2009 at %I:%M %p