Nothing says I know about your skid marks like the Fanny Floss gift.   Just not a good idea.Â
While cleaning his ass with Fanny Floss isn’t a good idea, cleaning the other side is a must have for any dad!  Now “good loving” is only a quick hot shower away.

Don’t ever buy him socks. EVER!  I mean look at this poor dad.  All the years of your shit, and you get him socks?!

Nothing will wake him up faster than a Pole Dancing Alarm Clock.  Sure he’ll hit the snooze button …

1.   If you die in an elevator, make sure you pushed the “UP” button.  (Unknown)
2.  My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
3.   Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.  (Mrs. White, Clue 1985)
4.   If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.  (Unknown)
5.   Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have over $150 billion but I was just as happy when I had $148 billion. (Bill Gates)
6.   It’s true …

Now when I say women ask dumb questions, I am not talking about questions like, “Why do they call it a drive-thru, if you have to stop to get your food?” I am talking about questions that they already know the answer too. Women use questions like weapons to start fights. Questions like…

1. What are you thinking about? Seriously? Like Now? Or last night when Baywatch was on? I mean, why ask that. It’s like that joke that talks

about the man’s three basic needs. Hunger, sex and sleep. If …

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The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was …