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Ronald McDonald Dead at 69.

1 July 2009 6 Comments

As if Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays weren’t enough.  The month of June, 2009 has taken yet another popular figure.

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In a shocking press release issued today from the Ronald McDonald Hospital in San Diego, California, Stated that  Rondald McDonald has passed away.

He was pronounced dead at 11:07 a.m. McMountain time. Dr. B. Mac told reporters, “I’ve honestly never seen arteries clogged this badly before. I don’t know how he lived this long.”

Ronald McDonald was survived by his wife Mrs. McTasty and their three children the fry kids.ronald_mcdonald1

In recent years, his friends Hamburgler, Mayor McCheese and others have been trying to get him to eat healthier. Serving him side salads and apple dippers. It’s clear now that Ronald didn’t follow their advice. 

Jarred, from Subway was quoted saying, “I tried to tell him.”

The (self proclaimed) “King”, was also quoted saying, “he was a worthy franchise giant, but it looks like there will never be any doubt who the real burger king will be.” The King was also seen passing out whoppers to all the saddened children at the Ronald McDonald Hospital. 

Ronald had also beeatshit-4951come very angry and had even been seen lashing out towards children.  Just last month he was seen passing out “Ronald Mcdonalds” buttons with, less than appropriate messages.

A nurse who had been near his bed when he passed, told reporters, “he grabbed my hand, and I watched a single tear roll down his cheek.” She later went on to say his last words were, “Tell them I am sorry…” Just like that he was gone.

His funeral will be held at the McMid-Town Cemetary near his home town of Playland at 3 p.m. Mcmountain time.

He was 69 years old.




6 Comments »

  • Allison said:

    You forgot about Ed McMahon … (I think that is how it is spelled)

  • Jason said:

    We all have to do one last honorary Ron Ron Rooo.

  • Anthony said:

    Ronald Mcdonald is not dead i sAW him yesterday morning.

  • Dr Burger said:

    He was pronounced dead of a massive coronary; due to excessive intake of burgers and junk fries. His arteries were 98% clogged with McDonalds brand transfat cheese sludge

  • weegeeisevil said:

    oh man thats funny eat sh*t ronald mc donalds commercial comes out EVERYTIME but today my mom went to mcDOODOO she oder pancakes and got them shes not dead shes alive

  • shell said:

    cemetery is spelled wrong.

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