Wanna have some fun?  With the following items you’ll be sure to have one hell of a year.

Nothing will make you do the rain dance faster than this umbrella squirt gun. You’ll find yourself filling it up even when it’s not raining. You’ll go for walks on hot summer days, claiming the umbrellas for shade. Squirt, squirt…

Does she tell you to start doing more house work? Does she complain that you don’t do your part? Give her those three words every relationship relies …

2009 has been one hell of a year.   First black President, gay marriages, abortion issues and don’t forget about religion.   You add people’s opinions and creativity to the mix and you have for one hell of a funny protest sign.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For more funny signs, click here.

Migrating from place to place, living in small cabins and more often tents, using primitive tools, they took on the biggest trees the forests had to offer.

Both Corn flakes and Graham crackers were originally marketed as a remedy for chronic masturbation.

Cola flavored jello was introduced in 1942, but sucked so bad it was discontinued within one year of its release.  Other failed jello flavors over the years were celery, chocolate, coffee and apple.

Diseases spread by fleas have killed more people than all the wars ever fought, combined.

Cimex Lectularius, or more commonly known as the bed bug can consume its body weight in blood in five minutes.

The Simpsons creator Matt Groening, named the characters after his real …

…going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

…your lover mentions going up stairs to have sex and you reply, “I can’t do both sweet-cheeks.”

…it’s the doctor and not the cops telling you to slow down.

…a hot chick walks by your house wearing a bikini and your pace maker opens the garage door.

…”getting lucky” means no accidents on the way to the bathroom.

…you don’t care where your spouse goes, just so long as you don’t have to go with.

…people check for a pulse when you take a nap while …

This will be our last, Oh shit moments here on BaconBabble.    To keep up with the hundreds of oh shit moments each week, we have started a new website with one purpose, posting those amazing, bizarre and often mind boggling moments we like to say, “Oh Shit” to.

To continue viewing all those moments, click here.

Simply take the following test, be honest with yourself and if you think you’re ready, go surprise someone special with all night baby making sex.

The Toy Test

Go buy 15,000 legos, have a friend or loved one spread them throughout your home. Then at 3 a.m., while blindfolder, try to make it to the kitchen for a drink, the bathroom for a piss and back to your bed without screaming like a little girl.

The Dressing Test

This next test is simple. All you have to …

Most news today has to do with someone killing someone, or something blowing up, or some kind of disaster just happened.   So it’s nice when you see things like the following in the news.

I dont’ think their definition of “successful” and my definition of “successful” are the same.

It may calm down the baby, but be honest here.   If you walked in on some guy holding a baby to his nipple, your first thought would not be, “awe what a great dad.”

Mr. Giggles?  Really?   Great companion?  Sure he’s handy to …

It doesn’t wake you up at 2 a.m. knocking on your, “back door” wanting to see if you can, “play.”

You won’t get arrested if you enjoy it in public.

It’s easy to get the kind you want the first time.

Did I mention it comes in chocolate flavor?

It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it.

It won’t make you have baby cookies.

You can enjoy it until you’re done.   Then put it away for next time.

It doesn’t scream like a little girl if you bite it.

When it gets old you can …

You ever get bored?  Your mind starts to wonder things, so you go to Google and start to type in random words like, “history of…”   Then like magic it brings up the top ten search results based on what you typed in so far.  Well today was one of those days for me.   The following is what I learned today.

Who Invented Chapstick?

A physician named Dr. C.D. Fleet, invented Chapstick in the early 1880’s.  The first chapstick resembled a small wickless candle wrapped in tin foil.  He later sold his …