It doesn’t wake you up at 2 a.m. knocking on your, “back door” wanting to see if you can, “play.”

You won’t get arrested if you enjoy it in public.

It’s easy to get the kind you want the first time.

Did I mention it comes in chocolate flavor?

It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it.

It won’t make you have baby cookies.

You can enjoy it until you’re done.   Then put it away for next time.

It doesn’t scream like a little girl if you bite it.

When it gets old you can throw it away and go get more.

You can return it if you don’t like it, because it comes with a satisfactory guarantee.