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Every day, over 1,300 babies are born prematurely in the USA.  (If you ain’t first, your last, ya know?  America, FUCK YEA!)

People have been known to drink the urine of pregnant women to build up their immune system.  (and she’s o.k. with this?  All the women I know would take drinking her Urine as a “warning sign.”)

The sperm count of an average American male compared to thirty years ago is down thirty percent.  (Say, that is good news.   30% better chance the “Pull out and pray method” will actually work.)

The …

The following jobs have actual names, I for one have no idea what they are, so please bare with me while I make up names for them.   You think you’ve had a worse job?  Feel free to leave a comment telling us about it.

What can I say about the “Porno Movie Theater Janitor?”  He’s probably the only guy who can honestly say, “I’ve seen worse,”   when shown photos of some inner-species erotica show involving a tubby little midget and a three legged dog named tri-pod.

Next we have the “Turd …

It seems more and more women are learning the joys of golf.   Sure when golf first got started it was intended strictly for men, the name itself G.O.L.F. stood for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.  Well boys, the women have their own clubs now and turns out they have one hell of a swing.

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I bet he did.  I’d even lay odds that “kinky Katherine” liked it.

Now that is funny!  That is how you put smiles on people’s faces long after you’re gone.

Why would the neighbor kid want to wok a 14 year old dog when he could wok a nice, lean, fresh from the street, ready to eat, what a f_cking treat,  young dog?  Crazy Neighbor kids.

Sucks to be him.

Well slap my ass and call me Pinky!  There he is.

I think if you can’t remember the name, it’s best just to leave it …

Ever watch a 3 year old eat nachos?  They have that look, like when they take a crap for the first time.   Pure fear and focus.

I thought adding one thing to Little Dude’s nachos would help him relax and let him enjoy what is quite possibly the greatest treat ever.  Bacon Nachos.

Turns out he wasn’t impressed.  In fact when I glanced over, he was starring at one particular chip with the most confused look his little face could produce.

I asked him what he was thinking.  He turned …