That’s My Boy!
8 January 2010
38 Comments
This is a true story.
I came home from work one day. When I arrived home, I was surprised to see my son sitting on the couch watching tv. I asked what he was doing home? He replied, “I got suspended today” as his eyes started to fill with tears. I said, “for what?” He replied quietly “for fightin’.”
(now my son is some-what of a geek. In a good way of course. He knows more about computers and gadgets then making friends and social events. He is also some-what overweight).
Out of curiosity I asked, “Did ya win?” His eyes filled with tears as he looked down at the floor and softly said “no.” He continued to fill in the blanks of the story. He mentioned that some older kids from school tease him a lot. And one kid in particular, started calling him “fatty”, “tubby”, “porky”, and so on. So I said, “Did ya punch him?” My son, still looking at the floor said “no, I never even touched him.” “Then why were you suspended?” I asked. He slowly looked me in the eyes and said, “because of what I said to him.” I suddenly found myself on the edge of my seat wondering what the hell could he have said that would’ve gotten him suspended. So I insistently said, “well? What did you say?” He smiled and asked “promise I won’t get in trouble for telling you? I already told mom when she picked me up from school and she said I shouldn’t use that kind of language and she would deal with me when she got home.” I quickly said “well, if your mom already is going to deal with you, then I won’t have to… so what’cha say?” He again smiled and held his head high and sat up straight, he looked at me and said “I asked the kid if he wanted to know why I was so fat? I told him that every time I fucked his mamma, she made me a sandwhich.”
I could feel the pride of a father hit me. I wanted to hold him high. (he is way to big for that, I would throw my back out for sure)
This story is for all those kids who get picked on, put down, teased, made fun of because they are different, slower, shorter, fatter, skinny, not as smart. You don’t have to be the strongest, fastest, tallest, smartest… (don’t get me wrong, in this world it helps) But once in awhile, you get the last word in. So when that moment comes…. …its o.k. to say “I fucked your mamma.”
HELL YES!!! Give your son a huge pat on the back from all of us intelligent yet persecuted people, worldwide!
Now get that kid to a Krav Maga class so next time this happens he can break the bullies spine into toothpicks.
I hope your wife went easy on the young soldier.
I am definitely going to pass this on.
Kudos to the author on raising a kick-ass-kid!
I wish I had been that bold when I was younger. Give that boy a hug, and a pat on the back ! Gotta watch out for those bullies.
This is the funniest story ever! You go kid! Be proud, Dad!
Right on brother! That’s the way to handle a bully! ^_^
You should be a proud dad! The bully deserved it!
MANNN THATS GOOD STUFF!…..ATLEAST HE IS HAS FAST THINKING SKILLS.!…ID GIVE UR KID A REWARD!
Growing up I was the the shortest and skinniest kid in my class. I took so much shit on a regular basis I became a shut in, recluse, and would sit in my parents house, on the computer playing games or chatting, pretending to be someone I wasn’t. In the summer after 7th grade, I broke the “curse” after I’d received a weight set for christmas. I broke my 4′11″ 92lb curse with a growth spurt at the same time while pumping iron (I’m guessing this was puberty…) When I returned to school, I was still short at 5′2″ but I weighed close to 130lbs. At first it was amazing, people were in shock and awe… then came the onslaught of slander. “He’s on steroids!” I’d hear when I went through the halls… But amazingly so, despite slander and the mockery.. nobody threatened me, nobody wanted to fight me anymore, and no one picked on me for being short. I would later come to find out a rumor had spread that I went to jail that summer for assault and battery.
It wasn’t until my sophomore year of highschool that I got into another fight, or much less any physical altercation other than a push (people over 6′ tall aren’t afraid of the stocky midget in highschool). I was then 5′4″ and 180lbs of muscle (For the record I was using TwinLabs pre-digested whey protein for two years) Still, nobody really questioned me, and no one made out right threats against me. Lots of talking behind my back, but nobody had the testicular fortitude to really do anything about it.
One day, this kid that I had an outstanding problem with came back to our school, since his mother was a substitute teacher for the county, and his dad lived in the next city over, he could go to any school in the county), he came back to ours at the beginning of the second semester. I’ll never forget that day. I’d worn this ridiculous shirt, a longjohn top without sleeves, and it fit tightly. As this kid passed me, he said “Put your shirt back on…” I stopped walking, turned to him and replied “What the fuck did you say to me?” as he said “You heard you bitch ass faggot”. And with those three final words… I hit him. I mean I really gave one. Caught him totally off guard, for the next three or four minutes, the entire student body gathered around this fight and watched as the long haired (yes I had a pony tail in HS), swole, midget kid whooped that kid’s ass. It took two of my very good friends to pull me off him, and when they finally did, I was asked to join the football team by the head coach.
After that, I was never mocked again. Not by my peers anyway. No one ever made another joke about my build, or my height. No one teased me, and no one pushed me. No one got in my face. I don’t know if my classmates were afraid of me, of just didn’t want to talk to me. It didn’t matter. I dropped out that year, went to military school. Left military school, got a GED and joined the Army to pay for my unborn child.
My story isn’t all that different from anyone elses… but it proves that people will always find something about you to mock or make fun of, especially if you don’t fit in with any of them. It really doesn’t matter what you look like, or how you think. All you have to do is stand up for yourself and show the determination in your heart that you won’t back down.
Don’t let yourself become discouraged in life over some shit for brains kid in the school system.
Hooray for the lad !!!
But there is a serious point here too. All too often it happens that the same authorities who seem to do nothing effective about that sort of bullying still come down hard on the victim when he does find a way of dealing with it himself. (I know, cos that was a recurring theme throughout my whole childhood ! )
Well done , I wish I’d been that brave when I was a kid.
Good for your kid. Wit and a sharp tongue can be just as biting as a good ass kicking, although, that helps too.
If his mom had “dealt with him” later in a bad way – eg. punished him or yelled at him – then she’s one helluva STUPID BITCH and doesn’t deserve to have a son like that. of course I’d never teach my own child to say something like that, but if he figured it out himself, then he’s very intelligent and has a healthy dose of charisma.
Geek in a good way? Your son may know just as much about making friends and about social events as any other kid – he just may be either too shy to use that knowledge, or has no need to make friends (and with kids like that around him, I know I wouldn’t).
So yeah, you should feel proud about him. It’s only fair.
You son is awesome!!! I wish I had the gall to say that as a child to all those meanies.
That’s an awesome Son you have there!, props. That line would shut anyone up seriously!
um clearly your son is awesome
i hope your wife takes it easy on him because the boy was just defending himself AND he did it without throwing a punch
oh and as i said because he’s awesome
LMFAO Way To Go, I love your son!!!!!!!! Sheer Brilliance, gawd you should be so proud lol!
Kid’s lucky he didn’t get his ass kicked.
Excellent comeback, you gotta love a kid with a sharp tongue and swift mind. You have good reason to be proud!
@JD
perhaps if you hadn’t worn a ridiculous shirt to school you wouldn’t had to beat up the other kid. Just saying…
On point, how much as an unborn child going for back then?
your son is too fat to pick up? childhood obesity is a problem. his quick wits won’t save him from heart disease and diabetes.
so why did he get suspended ? unless he actually screwed the other kids mama, what did he do ?
“Anon said:
your son is too fat to pick up? childhood obesity is a problem. his quick wits won’t save him from heart disease and diabetes.”
What a shitty thing to say. I would rather be fat that an ignorant tosspot like you,
Your sons got balls to come out with that one liner to the bully. Good on him. You can bet some comedian will stumble on this thread and use the story as a gag.
Wow anon you’re an asshole. I hope you have heart disease and diabetes. JEEEERRRKKK!!!!
Anyway…this kid is awesome for standing up for himself, and I’m very happy for him.
buy him the latest comp gear…for this…bravo.
@anon
No, but Wilford Brimley will.
lol that fatty will get battered when he goes back to school ROFL
I am with anon. Stop feeding your son so much fat. He’ll feel better fysically and mentally. Your responsibility.
That’s My Boy! ** Language Warning!**…
I wish I had been this quick on my feet when I was growing up as a fat kid in our neighborhood!…
What would he do if he was a girl? That’s the only issue I have with what he said… “Your daddy gave me his lunch money every time I fucked him” doesn’t seem to have the same ring… “every time I beat his ass?” that would be less likely if she lost the fight. Could she say she fucked his momma? Not if she didn’t want to get beat up for being a lesbo… A girl wouldn’t be able to say much in this situation, that’s why I would still punish him if I were his mom. Treating another person’s mom like sexual property is still opening your mom for the same sort of treatment. Therefore, no matter how much win it is for the boy, I would still consider him a little punished. Not much, at least he’s sharp, but I would still have a discussion with him.
LMAO! Smart kid! Glad he got the best of the situation when it was over. This is what helps kids grow into normal healthy adults. They need an outlet and the ability to express themselves. Its good that you are a dad that listens to his kid. Believe it or not you could be saving your kid from a lifetime of therapy!
@Margot;
He isn’t a girl so your comment is irrelevant. He wasn’t treating someone mother as a sexual object, it was a witty equalizing comment, can’t you see that? And you go right on punishing your children for defending themselves.
BTW its a matter of one up-man-ship. He didn’t actually have sex and everyone knows that. Every heard of “your mamma is so……” its a banter with no disrespect towards mothers DUH!
@DAD: YES he did win. 1)he taught someone else to see how comments can hurt 2)he responded in an appropriate manner 3)he learned he can stand up for himself 4)learned to not let other people run his life and 5) we don’t have to be anyones doormat and be walked upon.
Back when I was in school I ‘assaulted’ a fellow student in class. This guy was a bully and got away with everything. I had enough on day, smacked the guy in the head, shoved him up against the wall and warned him next time I would take him out for good. The teacher watched the whole thing, said nothing….result, HE stopped being a bully and became a friend in the end. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
@SON CONGRATULATIONS and now bring it up with the principle, teachers and counsellors. YOU had to take action because the school doesn’t.
Give you son an A for superlative comeback skills! Assuming he has a much larger arsenal of witty, cutting remarks he could very well shame potential bullies into leaving him alone!(I did just that for the first couple years of high school) Throw in some martial arts classes so he can surprise a more determined bully and he’ll be set for the rest of high school!
[...] Atsikirtimas [N-16] [...]
I was like your son -overweighted and a little geeky- and I used to get teased by an older boy in my block who happens to be bigger and more athletic than me, so fighting with him was out of the question.
He used to tease me all the time, and I just ignored him. But one day I decided it was enough.
We were just hanging out with the other kids who lived in the same block and he started with his “routine” so, instead of ignoring him I just kept staring at him.
After a couple of minutes he asked “What are you looking at?” so I answered “I hadn’t notice before.. but your ears are enormous”.
¡Voila! he blushed and started mumbling.
And that was it. From that moment on, every single time he tried to start teasing me, some of the other guys would interrupt him and start talking about his ears, and he would become upset.
It felt really good… ;D and it was in self-defense.
Your son realised he was going to get hit when he said what he said but did it anyway which took courage.
Unfortunately, in many other situations, this might make things worse as bullies have all sorts of means to get back at people.
We’ll never get rid of bullies as they’ll always find a way to do it when the ‘teacher’ is not looking. Round the corner, in the locker room, after school, on the bus, etc., etc.
Bullies learn the behavior from their home life. They see it there & copy. When adults cut down on their bullying behavior then we’ll see a reduction in school bullying within a generation.
Your kid is so awesome…I would much rather have a kid with fast brains than one on a football field who can get the girl because looks fade and brains go on and on.
Give that kid a high five! You must be raising him right. Shame he had tears in his eyes I feel bad for him. But he will be okay learning how to defend himself verbally is the best way. And with such style !
JD, dude way too long for ANYONE to care, its not ur story you dont have to write your fuckin bibliography
Way to go son! You had every right to do that. I did something similar in junior high because of bullies, and it worked well. And I’m a girl, just FYI, proving Margot doesn’t know anything about today’s comebacks/bullies.
Dad, be proud and enjoy this moment. Your son deserves some credit for standing up to the kid, because it’s hard to do.
The win is strong with this one!
my little brother (i say little, but he’s over 6′ and played football) has a cleft lip. when he was in 8th grade- and he was taller than me then too- some kid decided to make fun of him. it was the first time in his life, and the last.
my brother punched him in the head and never had another issue
my parents gave him the “that’s horrible, you shouldn’t do that, but in reality- we’re so proud!” speech. i was definitely proud of him. you gotta stand up for yourself. imho, if some dumb ass kid is gonna make fun of someone for something like that, he deserves/NEEDS to get a good punch in the head. counseling blah blah blah whatever.
Leave your response!
Language
Sponsor
Follow BaconBabble on Twitter
Subscribe to Bacon Babble Via Email
Toilet Paper Daily News
Archives
Categories
Also Visit
Latest Posts
Most Commented
Blogroll