I am not an expert.   I am not a certified counselor.  I haven’t conducted any studies, or really done much research for that matter.   However, I present to you the top ten reasons I feel, kids need counseling today…

This first one is quite possibly the most disturbing kids product I have ever seen.   It’s basically a butt plug for kids!   The concept is to make your kid not afraid of pooping.   You basically have them shove this up their bottom, to make star or heart shaped poop come out.   ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME!

Next we have a popular favorite for bath-time toy, the rubber duck.  However, this duck has a dick.   Yea, I am not even sure I want to know why the duck has a dick…

Hmm, where to put the hand towel you just wiped your mouth with after brushing your teeth?   I know!!   In a dog ass-hand towel holder.   Teach your kids that not only is the dog’s mouth clean, but his ass is too.

These next little treats make my stomach turn.  I won’t waste your time with witty writing, or a forced joke.   I will just show you, spermies, the candies you’ll love to swallow…

What could be better for a kid than a family dog?   Well, nothing really.   Unless you decide to modernize your dog with a fancy hair-cut and a designer sweatshirt.   Your dog won’t know how to be a dog anymore and your kids will need some serious psychiatric help.

How about you give your kids a box of chocolate.   Not so bad right?  What if it were a box of chocka-caca?   Yea, you can tell them you found them clinging to the hand towel you pulled out of the dog ass hand towel holder.

Next item to surely mess your kids life up is our skinned, skull walker for babies.   Yep, what better way to help them learn to walk, than slipping them into a bloody brain and telling them to hold on the the popped out eyeball?

Want to teach your son to be respectful towards women?   Hell no!  Want to teach him to be a “Boob Boy?”   Give him a roll of quarters and let him go to town playing the boob grab game!  Seriously, WTF?  I think the most disturbing part of this, is it’s Tora 3.   I wonder what part 1 and 2 were about?

So it’s your kids birthday huh?   Why not surprise them this year with an ice cream they have never tried?   I mean hell, they are getting older, why not fill their precious little heads with questions about, “WTF kind of ice cream is this?”

Getting ready to tuck your little boy into bed.   Why not let him sleep with Superman!   I mean if this was a Michael Jackson pillow, that would just be to obvious.   He’s got an “O” face!   How long til’ your little boy genius figures out Superman’s pillow powers?