Why I Love Rednecks

11 January 2010 13 Comments

I think Rednecks are funny. Sure they aren’t known for their IQ score. I mean lets face it, you won’t see many redneck astronauts, or hear one yell out, “I’ll take Chemistry for a thousand Alex.” So what is it about them, we find so funny? You ever give a monkey duct tape and whip cream? Same thing…

The following are my top ten reasons to love a redneck.

They take shittin’ serious! Which is kinda ironic in a way. I mean, some people use this (usually) quiet time to think, or meditate. Clearly not the case with your average Redneck.

You’ll see things in a rednecks home you won’t see anywhere else in the world. Hell they should start up a collection of redneck memorabilia and make some sort of redneck museum.

Ask a redneck about the best way to do something. One of my favorite things to do is to hear a redneck offer his or her ideas, thoughts, their theories. Take deer hunting for example. Yep, they all have a sure way to catch em’.

Rednecks know, you can’t buy happiness. Hell, you don’t need money to enjoy some of the finer things in life. Just look around, and use some of the ingenuity the good lord gave ya.

Rednecks know the meaning of “Family Time.” I mean what’s more fun than placing your hands on mom’s hips and playing a little, “ram the plunger in the toilet paper hole” game? Now that’s good ol’ family fun!

It’s funny for me to watch a redneck try to keep up with the times. Why hell, you don’t need to go buy one of them fancy hang on the wall flat screens. Not when you can get a big screen from Rent-a-Center fer’ $69.99 a month!

Sure it’s a three step process to relaxing in a nice hot bubble bath. But Bubba knows it’s worth it. Hell after a long day drivin trackers and watchin mamma take first prize in the mud wrestlin’ contest over at Crazy Earl’s bar-n-grill/Bait shop-n-BBQ, he’s ready for some R&R.

It’s funny to me that when something breaks, a redneck won’t EVER take something to ask if it can be fixed. “What would MacGyver do?” Is the only question that’s on his mind.

**Watchin’ Bobby Joe show off some of them computer skills he picked up after graduatin’ from ITT technical institute after only 6 years, sniff brings a tear to my eye.**

I love rednecks, for their ability to make a home outa’ pretty much anything.

13 Comments »

mistralu said:

bravo…..10/10

# 11 January 2010 at %I:%M %p

Medisoft said:

The “Family Time” picture was quite disturbing…

And not to be a buzzkill, but I think the pic with the flat TV in the wall is actually from China. (or was this a redneck Chinaman?)

# 12 January 2010 at %I:%M %p

Nikkolai said:

@Medisoft: The Saguaro statue on the shelf by the TV is probably not average Chinese decor. I’m thinking it’s somewhere at least in the United States. Either that or they’ve been to Arizona/New Mexico/Texas…somewhere around that area. That’s the only area with that type of cactus. But who knows, maybe they have traveled. I’m just saying that it seems less likely to me.

# 25 January 2010 at %I:%M %p

Hell yea said:

Hell Yea!
Hell, you are spot on here. Hell, these rednecks deserve a good ‘ol laughing at.

Hell.

# 27 January 2010 at %I:%M %p

Russ Blevins said:

I’m a redneck Republinazi and a liar and an incompetent bastard. Besides that, I’m a ornry old jerk.

# 28 January 2010 at %I:%M %p

omg wow said:

i know someone with a tv like that lol

# 1 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

buzznod said:

when the power goes out and technology fails you’ll wish you were able to survive like a redneck. we are not stupid people nor are we monkeys with duck tape I think your an ass for saying that .

# 1 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

yankee said:

*you’re. Duct tape can’t fix that.

# 1 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

wormy said:

@buzznod – it’s duct tape not “duck” tape you idiot

and that mirror would be useful if you’re mirror broke and you needed to get it to the shop

# 1 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

uberVU - social comments said:

Social comments and analytics for this post…

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# 11 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

filthyhabits said:

“wormy said:

@buzznod – it’s duct tape not “duck” tape you idiot

and that mirror would be useful if you’re mirror broke and you needed to get it to the shop”

Might want to get ‘Your’ and ‘You’re’ down before you start calling idiot.

# 21 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

Duck Tape said:

@filthyhabits

It was actually first called “Duck Tape” You can read about it here. – http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/02/duct-tape-was-originally-named-duck-tape-and-came-in-green-not-silver/

So depending on your age, you might still call it Duck Tape. Unless you’re a young buck who doesn’t know any better.

Signed,
Ducky

# 21 February 2010 at %I:%M %p

Uncle B said:

Even more Americans will joim the ranks of the red-mecks as Asia grows, cutting off the job opportunities . All north America is sliding into a red-neck survival mode – even so called sophisticates with college educations are having problems finding food in dumpsters, and have had to eat road kill! Detroit City is not what it used to be! Other American cities are following it down the tubes!
See:http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Nrlnk/exiledonline.com/slums-of-detroit-a-look-at-the-heart-of-americas-2nd-most-deserted-city
http://www.100abandonedhouses.com/
http://www.marchandmeffre.com/detroit/index.html
http://www.jamesgriffioen.net/index.php?/prairies/feral-houses/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8YdmLkDmjU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hhJ_49leBw&NR=1&feature=fvwp
for proof! Soon all America will be red neck for basic survival in the slum our country is rapidly becoming! If China has her way and sponsors a new currency of international trade, replacing the American dollar, we are all. automatically Red-Necks on that day! Be kind to the inventive ingenious survivalist red-neck and he may teach you to survive in the next economic downcycle – Hell! He may be our only hope!

# 4 March 2010 at %I:%M %p