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Funny FedEx
23 February 2010
6 Comments
After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as “Grip Sheets.” The grip sheets help FedEx pilots relay any problems they might have had with the aircraft during that particular flight.
The following are actual problems reported by the pilots (marked as “P”) and the solutions to each problem (marked by “S”) by the FedEx mechanics. (The FedEx mechanics know how to have a good time)
P – Number 3 engine missing.
S – Number 3 engine found on right wing, after a very brief search.
P – Aircraft handled funny.
S – Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P – Left inside main tire almost needs replaced.
S – Left inside main tire almost replaced.
P – Test flight went great, however auto-landing was very rough.
S – Auto-landing not installed on this aircraft.
P – Something loose in the cockpit.
S – Something tightened in the cockpit.
P – Dead bugs on windshield
S – Live bugs are still on back order.
P – Auto-pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per second descent.
S – Can’t reproduce that particular problem on the ground.
P – Evidence of a leak on right main landing gear.
S – Evidence removed.
P – DME volume at unbelievable levels.
S – DME volume set to more believable levels.
P – Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S – That means it’s working.
P – IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S – I think most things are inoperative in the OFF mode.
P – I suspect a cracked windshield.
S – I suspect you’re right.
P – Mouse in cockpit.
S – Installed cat in cockpit.
P – There is a noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget banging on something with a hammer.
S – Took hammer away from midget.
If this is real, it’s hilarious. Hell, it’s hilarious even if it’s not real.
This was great to read!
Classic!! You’d think that pilots would have a little more common sense!!
That was good. Glad they took the hammer away from the midget.
Well, it may be true but certainly not with Fedex. I’ve seen this list way back before they even existed. It was attributed to military pilots & mechanics. I just HOPE that it really all happened – as a former maintenance tech myself I’ve experienced similar things a time or two.
its old but still very funny. its probably not from fedex though as there’s versions of this with different airlines heading the title. whether its legit or not i don’t know. i’m an aircraft mechanic and all occurences tend to be logged properly and rectifications have to be documented officially on paperwork noting exact procedures followed. obviously for legal reasons. i think its probably just a bit of fun created by an airline mechanic to show how smarter we are than our ’skygod’ pilot co-workers. You can teach a monkey to ride a bike but you cant teach one how to change a puncture. still epic brilliance regardless.
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